Dating in the 90s

This is exactly the reason I’ve never kept a journal, or at least one that lasted more than a month. I’m very aware of my strengths and weaknesses (the few that I have) and consistent journaling definitely falls in the latter category.

Okay. I think I may be dating my dentist. I mean we have been seeing each other for awhile now, and pretty regularly (like every Thursday morning for the last 3-4 weeks). And I’ve definitely invested in him (we’re talking hundreds of dollars). And we’ve made future plans together (I usually schedule them with the receptionist, but it’s implied that he sees us going somewhere). So yeah. It’s pretty much the healthiest and most successful relationship I’ve had in a looooong time. Hold out all single ladies out there!!! There’s probably an optometrist or ear, nose & throat specialist out there just waiting for you! You just need good health/dental/vision insurance and have something physically wrong with you – both are absolute prerequisites to dating these days. (Note: You may be able to sub in a mental illness for a physical health problem. Results may vary.)

Like the man-eater pro that I am, I made excellent conversation and effectively seduced him. Here’s how… When he asked about how my temporary crowns were treating me, I told him how (like a genius) I was chewing gum, and the gum pulled the temporary crowns off my real teeth nubs, and I had to spit out my fake teeth and reinstall my young person dentures mid group conversation. That’s when I knew I had him hooked... No worries. I’ve already begun to write my guide to flirting and dating, anticipating the obvious demand. Due in stores Summer 2012.